Taking Out The Trash

Our new house is full of urgent and semi-urgent projects.  From the moment we took possession, there was a musty smell that was so strong it not only slapped us in the face when we opened the front door, but it seeped onto the front porch.  The gutters were packed with gunk, and when it rained, as it has quite often this summer, the water had nowhere to go and spilled off the roof in streams, creating little ponds of water on the ground.  An outdoor drain right outside the lower level door was filled with weeds and dirt and probably some raccoon waste.  Eeewww.  (Glad my husband landed the job of cleaning that, and not me!)  The floor of the master bathroom shower had a crack which had been unattended for several years.  The shower had still been used daily, however, and upon ripping out the shower, a rotted sub floor surfaced beneath.  The hall bathroom sported dated wallpaper and....carpet?  Yes, carpet.  Turns out the carpet concealed another rotting sub floor.  A floor so rotted that it reeked a potent odor permeating all parts of the house.  My little girl's room had a dated wallpaper border and one wall covered in thick decade-old paper.  I could go on.


All of these projects need to be done, and fairly quickly since little baby boy is set to join us in three to four months.  And all of them are producing piles of junk.  In addition to the unpacking that is still a daily chore, the old floors have to be trashed.  The carpet needs to be rolled and disposed.  Strips of wallpaper litter the bathroom and girl's bedroom floors.  I am constantly taking out trash, and the trash can is overflowing nearly as quickly as the truck takes it.  There are more boxes and packing paper and old tape and construction waste that need to be trashed every day.  I have been feeling almost buried in trash.  Hyperbole I know, but I wonder sometimes if I will ever get rid of it all.

But actually hauling it to the curb has sometimes been the easy part.  My hard-working husband ripped out the bathroom floor this weekend, and even though I provided no help in the process, I can tell you it was no small task.  He cut and ripped and hacked and sawed until the floor was gone.  It came out in lots of little pieces, from sawdust to splinters to blocks of wood.  His hours of manpower produced a heap of wood needing to trashed, but it also produced a solid new floor.  His work, often sidetracked by unforeseen problems, was necessary to build a sturdy floor for our family's home.  Several days before he started, he looked at the carpet in the bathroom, knowing the floor underneath was rickety at best, and said, "I am nervous about what I will find when I pull this carpet up."  I felt it too.  The trepidation of not knowing how awful the unseen situation would be.  But there was nothing to be done except start the project on Saturday morning if we wanted to have a fully functional and sanitary bathroom.  So hours of sweaty effort ensued.  And now I can look at a new sub-floor, ready for tile to be laid.

I have realized, as watch all the work being done on this house, that I also have a lot of trash to be taken out.  Not just the bathroom floor, but a lot of personally foul heart issues I must deal with.  Sometimes I feel a little concerned about what God will reveal to me if I start ripping up the rotting room in my heart.  But if I want a holy intimacy with the Lord, there is nothing to be done but start disposing of the trash I have allowed to grow.  Clear it out so that I can move closer to His side and see His guiding hand.  I know that the process will not be pleasant, and I anticipate a pile of disgusting refuse that bears witness to my former condition.  But, I know it must be done if I am to have a pure, holy heart.  But sometimes I don't know where to begin.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart!  Try me and know my thoughts."
                            --Psalm 139:23

God already sees all the useless trash within me: my anger, pride, selfishness.  I can't carpet over it with an old facade, or pretend that the stench won't color my whole life.  I must ask Him and then allow Him to reveal how to eliminate my personal trash.  He won't accuse.  He won't berate.  He is full of mercy and love, and He will receive me.  This I know.

“‘Return, faithless Israel,

declares the Lord.

I will not look on you in anger,

    for I am merciful,

declares the Lord;

I will not be angry forever.

13 

Only acknowledge your guilt,

    that you rebelled against the Lord your God"

--Jeremiah 3:12-13a

Let us  thank God that His mercy is abounding, and ask that He  reveal our hidden sins.  Lord give each of us the strength to deal with the hard truths you will reveal, and give us your enabling Spirit to help us rip out residual parts of the old man and firmly install Your righteousness.  May the door of my heart swing wide to reveal a spirit scrubbed clean with Your righteousness and walking steadfastly in Your will.